Friday, June 30, 2006

Portugal vs England

I read this joke the other day.

Figo was walking into the dressing room just before the England - Portugal match. As captain, it was his right to be late. But then when he walked in, he noticed all his team mates kinda glum.

"what's wrong?" he asked.
"oh the thing is... it's just England, and we feel like it's just such a waste of time playing agaisnt them since they're so bad... we'd rather spend the night at the pub," replied Ronaldo.

So Figo thinks for awhile. Then he says, "ok, you guys go down to the pub, I'll handle the English by myself"

So exhilarated, they all head to downtown Berlin and have a smashing good time drinking and picking up German chicks named Olga and Helga. Then they realised that there was about 10 minutes left in the game, so Deco says "hey, let's check how Figo's doing"

They on the TV and they see this

Portugal 1 - 0 England
Figo 10'

After checking the score, they promptly go back to their drinks, and they all celebrate. weeee Figo's holding off the entire England team by himself.

Then at full time, they check the score again and this time it says

Portugal 1 - 1 England
Figo 10' Lampard 89'

And they all go "Awwwww, oh well, let's head back to the dressing room"

So in the dressing room they see Figo, sombrero-less looking really dejected. Figo sees them and says, "I'm sorry I dissapointed you guys, I let the team down"

"why? you did great! you held off the English for a full 89 minutes!"
"What are you talking about?" Figo says, incredulously, "I got sent off in the twelth minute!"

geddit? geddit?
hahahahahahahhahahahah

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I had a dream last night!

and in that dream, I found a news article on a World Cup match. In the quarterfinal vs England, Luis Figo broke his legs and while squirming in pain on the ground, was shown a red card for time-wasting. Lol.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

upon us indeed

Allow me to correct LB2. Portugal will win, it'll be like Euro 2004 all over again. I remember the shocked look of dismay he manfully displayed when Beckham missed that penalty. Now Raymond and co. have a chance to peruse that countenance of constipated disbelief. ooo big words.


With a hat like that, how can to lose? Figo > Beckham's style/hairdos any day with a giant sombrero. Wait isn't that mexican?

Monday, June 26, 2006

the Piala Dunia is upon us

and England will win.

Good thing Reyes isn't starting for Spain matches. Or else their free flow play will be interrupted by his diving. Lol.

ENGLAND TO TAPAU PORTUGAL with chilli sauce included!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The Plan...

Ok, as you can see in the previous post. I have indicated that there's this place that I wanna go. Well, not me alone, with friends of course! Coz I'm damn freaking free like hell now, I'm gonna try to make an essay out of this.

It all started with me chatting with "Cmingo a.k.a. chia ming a.k.a. sexyming a.k.a. wussthatgetspwnedbycockroaches! 'nuff said. (lectureboy 2)" He said that he'll be coming back somewhere during July. So I thought, well that's good. But I told him, too bad I'll still be in Kota Bharu. Out of a sudden, he suggested that he'll come all the way to visit me. So I was flattered but realised it's quite a dumb idea. Why? Coz if you're driving or taking a bus ride here from KL, it takes roughly bout 6-8 hours drive. With CM's excellent record for not dozing off when he drives, I'm quite sure he'll make it here safely. A train ride is even worst, 12-13 hours! Woohoo! And let me just inform you , a freaking 8 hours ride in a bus that's gonna overturn anytime or falls into a "gaung" (BM) whenever the driver feels like it, driving at the speed of sound , really hurts your ass man. To make it worst, READ THIS, me Mr. Tan Seng Keat the Gorgeous Alltime Anywhere 'Sleeper' of the Year, MVS (Most Valuable Sleeper) of the Century, oh man this is so gonna be bold "CANT SLEEP IN THE FREAKING BUS!!!" *Pulls hair, runs to get a playar (is that how you spell it? you'll get whay i mean), pull out toenails, sprinkle pepper and chilli powder on wound, rub salt and lemon juice on it, crawls into the kitchen, picks up "tong chu tou" (cantonese) direct translation knive used to slaughter pigs, chop off nose, poke eyes with chopsticks ------->(Fast forward) pour oil on body, light up fire, burn to death. (For full version, please visit http://www.ahkeat's-1001-ways-to-kill-yourself.com)

Secondly, WTF~U~WANNA~DO~IN~KB?!!!(Please highlight spacing to read) Cuz there's absolutely nothing here! Unless you enjoy sugar in all kinda food they serve here, no joke, sambal is sweet, soy sauce is sweet, hell even their "teh tarik kurang manis" is sweeter than KL's "teh tarik manyak manis kasi kau kau punya mau mati itu semut minum!" , Kelantanese favourite passtime, open burning! And their best Mall here, the awesome manificent KB Mall(where Subang parade or damn even carrefour beats the hell ouf of this Mall.UPSIDE DOWN, INSIDE OUT, LEFT TO RIGHT, RIGHT TO LEFT, UP YOURS MAKE A U-TURN DOWN YOURS AND NEVER WANNA RETURN AGAIN!)

Moving on, I told CM the hours to drive here so he said , oh well take a plane there then. So ok, good plan. But what to do here?! I give it some thought ( bout 1.835658 seconds) Why don't we go to _ _ _ _ _ _ ! You know the answer boys and girls,don't be shy, just say it out loud! All in one go! Daddy's gonna buy you sweets...

Walaaaa!!! The brilliant sk just did it again! *Argh...I lost my mood to mengarang*

So long story short, plan is All those IMU-ians coming back to M'sia in July, lets go REDANG & PERHENTIAN! WOOOHOOOO! Non-IMUians may come as well, subject to availability and on first come first serve basis. No lar, just jk, whoever wanna come, come lar. But must be hot chick or bring a hot chick ok? Hehe...*evil grin*

So, whoever wanna come please post a reply for this entry. (A good way to get replies...Muahahaha!!) Write your name and dates available. Oh yeah, the trip's gonna be 3 days 2 nights inclusive of friday and saturday ok! Cuz that's my weekends. Kena minta cuti lar...

Anyway, gtg. Reply a.s.a.p. Love you guys! *Muaks*Hug Hug*

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

the story of a boy named jin

This is a story of a boy named Jin.
Once upon a time, by fates unrestrained, four boys met in a shopping mall. The shopping mall was special in that it had no running escalators, but instead they were stationary 24/7. It was also a very special mall because on its highest floor, were two lecture halls. But because the escalators were stationary and the lecture halls were on its highest floor, this entailed difficult steep climbs everyday whenever there were lectures.

Now, the four boys had a common liking for lectures. And by sharing their passion together, their fancy for lectures evolved into a communed relationship with their curriculum. So where exactly does Jin, who this story is about, come in?

One day, the four boys named themselves the lectureboys and even wrote a theme song for their group. Jin however, was scornful, and laughed at their futile attempts to be the advocates for lectures. This is because he was an avid devotee to the art of truancy.

However hard the lectureboys tried, they could not persuade their friend Jin to attend lectures. He was a lost soul who needed to be shown the way, and they were convinced that they were the right persons to lead him.



However, exams came and they all failed. End of story.

Little-known LB facts #1

Did you know that each of the lectureboys have a superpower and corresponding secret identity? Yes, whenever a mistake in scheduling has occured and it threatens the day's lecture, they spring into action, and with their combined powers, make sure that the lecture status quo is preserved!

Yes, you lecturers who don't turn up, beware! Pencil-pushers who mistype schedules, be afraid! The lecture boys unite against the evils of tardiness, laziness and sleepiness! We can rest soundly in the knowledge that our droning educational needs are safeguarded by these fearless defenders of all things powerpointed.

Sk = Fly boy. 'nuff said. He flies into action as if we ever needed him! Also faithful transport-provider of the LBs.

tim = Wet-blanket-o-saurus. The slow-moving, yet quick-witted relic from the cretaceous will dampen any lively atmosphere with his cynical wit to induce proper sober lecture conditions. When conditions get too dire, he'll unleash his ultimate weapon : like a banshee, a song that darkens the mood and gloomifies the situation... "pardon me while i burrsssttttt........"

cm = Mr. Punctuality. He's never late! Always on time! Ever dependable to be the first at a scene of lecture-threatening situations! What's the time?? On time!!! jeng jeng jeng

hn = Mysterio. Cunning, silent and mysterious, Mysterio strikes quietly from the darkness, slaying those whom he wills... (sometimes slaying ppl who threaten lectures as well). Some say he has his own personal agenda, merely using the LBs to his own gain. Some say he's merely misunderstood. Some even say he can talk to animals. Whoever is right, the mysteriously mysterious face of Mysterio is cast in suspicion by friend and foe alike...

Monday, June 05, 2006

WaaaaaaasSSSSSsssuuuppppp PEOPLE!!!!!

Hello hello...didn't think that this suggestion is for real ! Haha...Kudos to Mr. Cmingo for setting this up. Well, this would be a fantastic way to make sure that the legacy of lectureboys stay alive! Wooohooo!!!

First and foremost, let me intro myself. I'm Tan Seng Keat. 22 year's old this year, male....yes a male with very high testosterone level, sometimes ppl say that I'm cute, some says handsome, some says gaya, some says SEXAY! Repeat after me....SEXXAAAAAYYY! (with a hiss...) Well, I think of myself as being versatile. (Haha..yes, the old tak tahu malu Seng Keat is back to haunt you all!)

Ok ok, let's be serious, ignore the above paragraph. (Hmm...*pause a moment and think* Eureka! You can't since you would have read the above paragraph b4 reaching this. Unless you start reading from bottom. Whereby, if that's the case, as a normal kiasu Malaysian, you would still read the above paragraph because you FREAKING Malaysians like to do what you're asked not to!)

Back to the intro...Well, I'm Tan Seng Keat (lectureboy 1), 22, male, ARGH !!!!! Screw this....too lazy to intro myself. You know who I am. So skip the intro bout myself. Moving on...

Cmingo a.k.a. chia ming a.k.a. sexyming a.k.a. wussthatgetspwnedbycockroaches! 'nuff said. (lectureboy 2)

Tim the man a.k.a. timothy law ngee chuan a.k.a. man-who's-bitter-than-the-bitterest-bitter-gourd-in-bitterland. (F.Y.I. I know there's no such word as bitterest...stop laughing at me...)(lectureboy3)

Han Nien a.k.a. Mushi a.k.a. silent nuker a.k.a. catwhisperer ( Imagine Jennifer love hewitt...replace ghost with cats and hot chick Jen with hannien) (lectureboy4)

Wei Jin a.k.a. oldfriedghost (status - pending....)

Disclaimer:- All information above is true and is a true fact no matter what you think!

what are lectureboys?

They aren't edible, that's for sure. Unless you're feeling kinky. Then they're available in different flavours.

BEEE ARRRRRRRRRRRR BEEEEEE.